There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
