so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
My pussy is not your playground.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize