if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
