She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
