She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
