I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We left the knife in your bed.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
