My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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