idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
