We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
