I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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