I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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