i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
