remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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