NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
