Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
