so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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