I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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