So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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