I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
4 words: hood of his car
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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