a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
