I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She tied me up with her honor cords...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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