Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
