Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
