So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
