FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
