Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
