your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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