Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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