2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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