she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
