I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize