Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
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