i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
