So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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