So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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