i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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