What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
