piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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