Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize