They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize