i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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