someone threw a dead crab at me
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
