I want to have your abortion
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
