If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
