Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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