Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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