Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
