You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think i got beer on your cat.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
