Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
