the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
