you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
