we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
