So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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