hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
