I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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