I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He passed out mid-signature
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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