i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
